


Disaster Siblings

by PepperF



Series: Diego whump [26]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Crack-ish, Gen, Whumptober 2020, bc why not, just bickering, no I did not bother with an actual plot for this one, please feel free to picture them all in sexy space jumpsuits, sorry Ben I didn't find a way to squeeze you into this one, the Hargreeves siblings in space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27210751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperF/pseuds/PepperF
Summary: "It's hot in here. Are you guys hot? I'm gonna open a window—""No!" yelled at least three of his siblings, and the immovable iron bar that was Luther's left arm slammed Diego back into his seat."Ow," he protested, mildly.
Relationships: The Hargreeves Family
Series: Diego whump [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951318
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Disaster Siblings

**Author's Note:**

> Love and kisses to Bethany, who has been taking this journey with me (I mean, the fic-writing journey, not the literal journey into space from this fic). I'm getting v sentimental now it's nearly done...

"It's hot in here. Are you guys hot? I'm gonna open a window—"

"No!" yelled at least three of his siblings, and the immovable iron bar that was Luther's left arm slammed Diego back into his seat.

"Ow," he protested, mildly.

"Klaus, watch Diego," commanded Allison.

"Oh, come onnnnn, you know me and responsibility... yes, Allison," sighed Klaus, when she glared at him. "Come along, little brother, let's get out of the way of the _obviously_ critical discussions for which we're _clearly_ not needed."

"Okay," said Diego, who was surprisingly biddable when concussed. "I'm hungry. Can we make a sandwich?"

Klaus brightened. "I think I saw a kitchen back there..."

Vanya shook her head once they'd left. "How many times has Diego been hit on the head now? It can't be good for him. Maybe we should get him a brain scan or something when we get home?" Even now, Vanya still phrased perfectly sensible ideas as questions. Thirty years of being the 'lesser' sibling was a hard habit to break.

Five shrugged. "Eh, he'll be fine. Unless the spaceship we're on crashes into a black hole in the next five hours and three minutes, in which case he'll perish along with the rest of us. If he's lucky, maybe he'll still be too out of it to notice."

"I wish I had a concussion," sighed Luther.

"How would we ever know?" snarked Five.

"Hey—!"

" _Anyway_ ," interrupted Allison. "Getting back to the _imminent disaster_..."

Ten minutes later, Klaus wandered back into the main area with, in fact, a sandwich. And only a sandwich.

"Klaus, where's Diego?"

He looked up. "Well, you know, I was watching him," he said. "But it got difficult, so I stopped." He smiled disarmingly. "I'm sorry, were you expecting a different outcome to that scenario?"

"Can we really get sandwiches on this ship?"

"Luther, focus!"

"I'm trying! But I'm hungry too! This body takes a lot of fuel, you know."

"Christ on a cracker, we're all going to die," muttered Five. 

"I can't believe you left him to wander around—" Allison pushed past Klaus and went off in search of her missing sibling, followed by Vanya and a still-muttering Five.

"Oh, come on, what's the worst he can do? We're about to die anyw—hey!"

Luther bit into his stolen sandwich. "I can't believe they stocked this thing with real food. You know I lived on soy paste for—"

"—five years on the moon, yes, we _know_ ," groaned Klaus. "God, get some new material already."

All was peaceful for a while. Diego meandered back in, alone and sandwichless, and flopped onto one of the cushioned bench seats that looked like something out of _Star Wars_. "My head is fuckin' killing me. I'm gonna take a nap."

"Aren't we supposed to keep him awake or something?" asked Luther. Klaus shrugged. Diego was already snoring.

Luther sighed again. With any luck, in four hours and thirty-seven minutes they'd fall into a black hole, and this would all be behind him.


End file.
